I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
