Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
