we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I checked into jail on foursquare
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
