i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
