I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
