i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
