I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
