I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
