the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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