dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
