I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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