YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
