Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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