Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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