do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
