i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize