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chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize