His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
