oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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