I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize