She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
FUCK WHALES
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
