Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
