Dual....:-)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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