yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i think my cat just said my name.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
