What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
you never un-have a 4some
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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