Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
