I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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