Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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