Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
