Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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