brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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