xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize