splinters make it hard to masturbate
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
