It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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