So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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