my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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