no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
