Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
