I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
