why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
