Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
