You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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