They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
