my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
