you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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