I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize