There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
