is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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