sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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