somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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