no, he came in my armpit
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
