HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
