she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
