I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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