Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
