why didn't you poke me back
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
