Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
