i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
