So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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