she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
