At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
