can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
