I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
