i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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