so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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