Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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