it's not cheating when I paid for it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize