i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
