Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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