look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
