if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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