OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
